Becoming Whole

One of my favorite Christmas stories from childhood was "The Velveteen Rabbit." It is the story of a toy rabbit given to a little boy for Christmas. The rabbit longs to become "Real." At the beginning of the story, he doesn't even know what Real is. As time goes on, he learns the definition of Real from a fellow toy and discovers that to become Real, he must be loved. Ultimately, through loving and receiving love from the little boy, the velveteen rabbit's dream comes true. He becomes Real.

As a child, this story spoke straight to my heart. So often, I felt trapped in a body that could not do all I wanted it to do. At times, I felt incomplete, misunderstood and out of place. Even as a young child, I knew that when people saw me for the first time, they only saw my physical appearance. They saw my disability and felt pity for me. I remember one time, a woman at Disney World burst into tears at the mere sight of me. The fact that I was a "normal" little girl who happened to be inside of a body with no limbs, was not immediately realized by most people. Like the toy rabbit in the story, I longed to be seen as just me. I wanted people to see and love my spirit behind my physical disability.

Occasionally, that very thing would happen. I did have the honor of meeting people who instantly saw me for who I really was. For me, this was love in the purest form. I knew my family did not pity me. So whenever someone, apart from my family, looked at me without pity and instead loved me for what was in my heart, I felt complete. I thrived whenever I felt safe to give and receive love. I related to the toy in "The Velveteen Rabbit" because in those moments when I was truly loved and accepted, I became Whole.

Excerpt from:
THE VELVETEEN RABBIT
or, HOW TOYS BECOME REAL
written by Margery Williams

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Photo: Taken Christmas 1972